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62 posts tagged motherhood
Parenting Fail
This morning I accidentally washed my son’s mouth out with soap. Pro-tip: when you go to wash your kid’s face, check to see if their mouth is closed first.
“We used to think that breast milk was just a food and that it was filled with fats and proteins and vitamins and that formula companies were successfully able to mimic this. But we now know that there are substances in breast milk that exist almost at the same levels that are not digestible by infants. So what are they doing there? It turns out, they’re digestible by beneficial bacteria. So over millions of years, the mother has been creating a substance that will recruit useful bacteria into her infant’s gut and this sets her infant up for life. So as much as breast milk is a food, we also now understand that it’s also a medicine.”
(via yellowsparkleonionrings)
Great post on the “War on Moms” by David Vienna. Want to do something about the injustices parents face? Support MomsRising and become one of their members.
Dear Everyone:
It seems parenting has re-appeared as a hot topic in the news and not for reasons I would have liked. One stupid comment from a pundit and suddenly there’s a “War on Moms.” One muckraking cover from a magazine and everyone’s parenting style comes into question. One …
You know you are a mom when you go shopping for yourself and end up buying mostly things for your kid. I should never visit stores with a kid’s department. Never!!
I’d never heard of this group until just a moment ago. I know many moms who have suffered with post-partum, and getting out of the house to get support can be so challenging. Heck, getting out of the house can be challenging for any new parent!
This company provides video support groups for post-partum moms. An idea that just makes sense. FYI- this is a start-up, so while they are in the beta phase, the groups are free. I’m sure they’ll charge at some point. But for now, you can get help, and help others by refining a cool tool at the same time. Please share.
I’ve got followers out there who span the political spectrum, despite the fact that I am clearly uber-liberal. For those out there that are anti-choice, I hope that you will ready this article and think about this family’s suffering as they waded though Texas laws surrounding abortion. No one who is facing such horrible outcomes for their very much wanted child should be put through this.
This article gives a real perspective on what these laws are like in action: belittling and cruel.
Yes, so good! But what about “party here”? One of our favorites has always been to have folks over for dinner and drinks. We invite them over pre-bedtime, let them spend a half-hour or so with the kid, and then we have dinner after the boy is in bed. Allows for both some time to get to know our son, and some adult conversation time. Win-win (and we can have a second drink, because we don’t have to drive!)
I don’t remember who posted it last night (I went back on my dash early this morning and couldn’t find it), but someone said there should be a list or manual for people who’s friends just had a baby.
Lo and behold! I created one some time ago. Get the PDF, print it out and give it to your friends. Or send them to thedaddycomplex.com/howtohangout. Or just tell them not to be such dipshits.
(NOTE: I just found the post from last night. It wasn’t about how to hang out with baby-less friends… it was late, my mind was foggy. It was misadventuresofbeingamom’s post about how there should be a manual for potential visitors who want to see the newborn. Coincidentally, I kinda wrote one of those, too.)
I love being a mom, but like any parent in a household thinking progressively about gender roles, from time to time the “balance” question comes up. Is my husband doing enough of the parenting? Housework? Cooking? Does my working part time mean that I should willingly take on more of this responsibility? Or just not complain about it? Should I work more?
From time to time the question of enjoying these duties comes up. My husband would never argue that I enjoy cleaning, he’s much to smart for that. But the fact that I do enjoy cooking means that I shoulder that responsibility significantly more than he does (unless I want to return to the previous days of an unhealthy grad school diet.)
So yes, I see truth in this article when it comes to the “excuse” of getting more pleasure out of the activities that make a home run. I would never argue that my husband gets less pleasure out of parenting than I do. Perhaps in those early days of parenting (like those mentioned in the article) that might have been true. Who really enjoys being woken up repeatedly in the middle of the night? But if you are spending that time snuggling a sweet little baby at your breast, perhaps it just isn’t as painful?
That said though, I look at their statistics about fathers in both the US and Sweden (with their super amazing leave policies) not taking all of their leave, and I just can’t agree with the interpretation that this is about their comparatively lower enjoyment of parenting duties.
It reminds me of a study I read years ago (forgive me, I forget the source) that found that men and women in the same organization and in the exact same roles had wildly different perceptions of the flexibility that organization offered parents. While if you are lucky your workplace has policies that support parents of all types equally (and the vast majority of us don’t) the norm in the workplace is still very much to assume that the mother is the primary caregiver, and to create an environment that looks unfavorably on men who want to be home with their families more. This demonstrates to me that the implementation of these policies is critical. If you are going to truly give fathers the same flexibility as mothers, then you need to change the culture and expectations of the work environment, not just put something on paper and expect the world to change around it.
